Several months ago I received an email from a woman who’d read my post on antidepressants.

She was so thoughtful and brave by reaching out to me and sharing a few details about her own anxiety and decision to begin taking an antidepressant, and I truly hope that she is doing well today.

I love sharing in this space, and I think it says a lot about the common human experience that my antidepressant story is one of my most popular posts.

Thus, I thought it would be helpful to revisit what helps me cope with sudden anxious moods.

Because, that’s the thing. Medication and therapy—while two wonderful tools for maintenance and healing—are not infallible.

There will be days where you wake up sad and anxious, unsure why the pervading blues arose. In order to thrive, you will have to check in with yourself daily. You will have to be mindful of your emotions and choose to act in a way that moves you forward instead of backward.

And, so, these are a few tools that help me stay on that path.

10 WAYS I MANAGE MY ANXIETY

10 Ways I Manage My Anxiety

1. Daily gratitude

There was a period of time earlier this year where it took almost every ounce of energy—mental and physical—just to get out of bed in the mornings and prepare for work. Something that helped me tremendously was a daily gratitude practice. As soon as I hit the shower, I would think of 3 things I was grateful for that morning. Sometimes it was superficial, sometimes it was less so, but it helped steer me ever-so-slightly into a better mindset. I’m in a better place now, but I still try to do this daily.

2. Exercise

I don’t exercise enough. Not for my lifestyle, age, and love of movement—and it sucks. But, I do the best I can, and I can tell when I’ve missed a workout. Exercise absolutely relieves my anxiety/tension, and it gives me something to look forward to. Without those little personal challenges in my workouts, my motivation would suffer.

3. Meditation and quiet time

I don’t meditate daily or as often as I need to, but I try to take some alone time on my lunch breaks. Even when I don’t practice guided meditation, I try to notice my environment/feelings. I try to let my thoughts simply exist and while being present in the moment. Having just a few moments of quiet time to decompress and center myself can do wonders for my emotional state.

10 ways i manage my anxiety

4. Regularly taking my medication…and cutting back on wine/unhealthy foods

I’ve been taking the same medication for 2 years, although my dosage has changed. It’s not a cure-all. It hasn’t transformed me into a radically different person, but it does allow me to be a better version of myself. It brings me to a base-line where I can choose better ways to respond to stressors.

I’ve also noticed how alcohol and caffeine affect my moods. When I was experiencing what I believe was low-grade depression, I was also consuming 1-2 (larger) glasses of wine almost every night. While it helped me relax in the evenings, it negatively affected my sleep and mood the next day. So…I cut back.

I will never give up coffee, but I have begun cutting back on weekends, because caffeine does increase my anxiety.

Sometimes too much “junk” food does the reverse—it makes me feel sluggish and lethargic. Even if it doesn’t physically influence me, it does make me feel pretty rotten emotionally. I’m all about intuitive eating and try not to deny my cravings, but I’m still emotionally influenced by my food choices.

5. Allowing myself to feel my emotions

Before, numbing or pushing down negative-feeling emotions was my go-to strategy, and as you can imagine, that didn’t really accomplish much.

Now, I allow myself to be sad. Or anxious. Or irritable. Or feeling like the world is shit for a day or so. Because now I recognize that my feelings aren’t a constant. They change from day to day, and if I simply allow myself to feel them in all their heaviness, I will eventually rise up. The Rumi poem, The Guest House, is a beautiful representation of this.

6. Increasing the frequency of my therapy visits

Right now, I’m at a place where I see my therapist every 4-6 weeks. I’m probably going to lengthen that time after my next session. However, I realize that things may change, and there may come a time when I need more frequent support.

7. Noticing my “triggers” and backing off when needed

Oh man. As much as I love being informed and educated (and realize that one of the side effects of privilege is being able to “remove” myself from hardship when it becomes overwhelming), too much negative news gets to me! I have had to cut back on my NPR listening, my twitter scrolling, and even my personal writing about the news. Hearing something negative and not being able to help is a big trigger for my anxiety.

Likewise, when I was reading What Made Maddy Run (a biography about a young, high-achieving Penn athlete who died by suicide) and simultaneously watching the second season of Thirteen Reasons Why, well, you can imagine why I needed to back off.

8. Listening to energizing music and uplifting podcasts

When I do find myself weighed down by negative news or too much workplace venting, I listen to uplifting podcasts. My go-to are Mind Body Musings by Maddy Moon and The Chasing Joy Podcast by Georgie Morley. Right now, I’m listening to The Greatest Showman soundtrack on repeat; it always boosts my mood!

9. Sharing with my husband when I’m feeling “off” or overly anxious

For the longest time, I avoided sharing my negative feelings with my husband because he was dealing with stress at work. I felt like I would burden him even more, and I was afraid of resentment. Now I’m reminded that we are a team, and when one of us is down, we lift the other up.

Plus, it helps prevent unnecessary arguments. Last Sunday, I had entirely too much coffee and noticed myself getting irritable and jittery as we prepared to go out. I told him, “hey bear, I think I drank too much coffee, so sorry if I’m snippy or seem aggravated.” I like to think that helped.

10. Writing it down

Writing is a path to catharsis for me. If I can’t articulate what I’m feeling out loud—to my husband, friends, or therapist—then I can likely translate it through writing, or perhaps painting. I believe we all need some creative outlet for dealing with tough feelings—whether that’s cooking, photography, music, etc.

10 ways i manage my anxiety

These things seem like common sense, but when we get caught up in the rhythms of our routines, those simple #boringselfcare tasks become insurmountable.

So, even when I can’t devote as much time as I’d like to these things or find myself closing off from my support system, I am compassionate with myself. Because life isn’t linear; it’s full of ups, downs, spirals, leaps, and even falls.

10 Ways I Manage My Anxiety #mentalhealth @namicommunicate
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